Meanwhile while courting, she had told me she left her former relationship because the guy she dated then was like the breadwinner to his family catering for his siblings and she felt quite uncomfortable with it.
I didn't read much to it bcos in my mind it happened to my favour and I already have a well to-do siblings, as at my courtship period though.
Shortly before we got married, my elder brother who also just had a baby lost his job and i had to support him and his family on a need basis especially with their little cute baby boy growing but i noticed my then fiancee didn't just like it at all.
Now that I have married her....
i got a great job with this good pay and was very comfortable, meanwhile my brother search for job was to no avail and his wife was on maternity leave.
To cut long story short, each time my brother comes to me for help and i send him money, my wife complains that i lavish my money on my brother, that he should go and get a job and not rely on me always. We would quarrel seriously for days/weeks before time eventually settles things.
Just last few days ago, we were relocating to a new area within town and i called my brother to pick up a few stuffs (electronics, household items) i know i wouldn't or i planned replacing with new ones. He came and picked them up as i had informed him. After he left, my wife let hell loose, she went completely mad and we had a big quarrel...she even called my brother to return the few stuffs he took even when i already bought the replacements.
I am used to going back to her to apologize just to let peace reign ...but this time i have had it upto my neck...I dont intend apologizing one bit as i am sure i did her no wrong.
Now i am thinking deeply.....did i really overlooked the signs? Did i really marry the wrong lady??
Please i need realistic advise on how best to manage my wife. Thank you.
U don't really know her..but best of luck.
ReplyDeleteAs long as caring for your extended family doesn't stop you from caring for your immediate family then you are good to go but if it still makes her feel bad, it only means she is selfish.
ReplyDeletedec.16th@yahoo.com
You caused it your self. You were too soft with hear. Best thing is to make her realize her mistake and treat her with an Iron Hand yes I mean iron hand. ND pray to God for direction as well.
ReplyDeleteSorry Bro , the problem is from u sir one u over look d signs bc u love her tow u could not lean very well and keep ur attention towards her to know her faulty to know how to follow her bc every human have fault, because of that u think by telling her everything that happen between u and ur brother is love no there is things u tell her about u and ur brother the one u know is not bard (crime) so that u will keep ur brother close and also keep ur wife close most woman is like that love for all what there husband have be only for and her family but is only wisdom u can use and handle it all , that is why some times bc of the greed of women and they know they are and force there son to marry who they want bc Wen the lady come she will turn the man face to her only family and let d man family to surfer, like the woman that said she borrow money to train her son so bc of that she will marry him so that other woman will not come and sit on her surfer and giver command, so talk to ur wife in a strong way and warn her and make change of the way u tell her about ur family but not to fight oooo.
ReplyDeleteThe best way is to make her understand that he's also your family and family stand for one another when in need and he will do the same to u if u happen to be in his shoes
ReplyDeleteSit her down and talk some senses to her let her understand your brother is also your family, I no wrong in that
ReplyDeleteYes sir u fail to do proper research abt her and allow her go through series of test... Any woman dat does nt like my family, I mean the people dat has been there b4 I got married then she is nt the right person, now u hav married her the only thing is to make her understand the importance of family they are ur blood final, mehn dis marriage thing self eh
ReplyDeleteExplain to her why u will help your family if she not happy with it let her leave.nenyekutes@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteYou hold the key to the success of your marriage. It's not necessary you put your wife in the light when offering help to your family or anybody since you know the kind of person she is. Just for the peace to reign in your home. Always pretend as if you're tired of helping anybody including her own people. Shalom
ReplyDeleteJust try and know what she really want.. . She should understand that you are her family and you have other family
ReplyDeleteNa u cause am bro. But it's sth dat can be resolved.
ReplyDeleteWoman palava, y must she disagree wiv u helping ur family, if nt selfishness, wicked woman..inumidun
ReplyDeleteLet her know dat your brother is ur family and if she claim to love u, she should also love your brother as well becus he is a part of u.
ReplyDeleteNo long story. Just allow her to go, pls!
ReplyDeleteWives are people you spend your lifetime studying because some of them could be very annoying and unpredictable at times.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing wrong in caring for your brothers in so much as it does not affect the upkeep of your immediate family. Take your stand without resulting to altercation with your wife. She should see reason with you after all she also use your money to take care of her own siblings. Why won't you take care of yours?
ReplyDeleteYes of course u did.u overlooked the signs.ones have to be very careful this daiz.
ReplyDelete#Dialogue. Sit her down, talk some facts into her. Let her know that ur family is your family. If she can't respect them, she can't av an iota of respect or regards for u either.
ReplyDeleteolutoscene1@gmail.com
#Olu,can you see?
She mad it clear to you, you are supposed to open ope to her as your wife when ever you want to give anything out, if she approves it good if she didnt you forget about it. if you dont want her problems you can give your brother something without announcing it to her.
ReplyDeleteYou have to set the rules in your house not your wife
ReplyDeleteBarry
My brother I understand your plight. Sometimes when we allow people into our lives because we love them they now want us to discard every other person that was in your life before them. You need to ask yourself the following questions: Is it your wife that sponsored you through school and supported you become what you are today? Where was your wife when you were struggling to reach your current status? Your family was always there through thick and thin so you shouldn't turn your back on them now just to pacify your wife.
ReplyDeleteFor your wife, you need to have an honest conversation with her regarding the subject. That you're assisting your sibling should never become an issue except if it will after your capacity to put food on your table. That you're prepared to make sacrifices to assist your family even if it will involve you foregoing some luxury. By extension you also assume to assist her own family (your inlaws) where possible. If she cannot see reason to it then you're prepared to damn her objection and report the issue to her family.
You need to manage the situation very well because a woman who can go such lengths as you describe is a dangerous person. If I were you I will Will all my possession to my mother to hold in trust for my children when they grow up because your were is becoming unpredictable.
As long as u do ur part for her n her kids in d home,then she is just being selfish...pray for her
ReplyDeleteIfy
Now you choice to work on it
ReplyDeleteYou did married a very wrong lady. She is not wife material... Me and my husband material.
ReplyDeleteWisdom is what u need d most now. Pray 4 one. Can u do these things without her knowledge? For example, credit his account, Ask him to meet you outside of your home, take stuff to him instead of him coming, etc cos believe me u don't want to have an unhappy home. Call her and tell her how her actions affect u, ask her to make a request for something relatively inexpensive u may get for her to make her forget this episode, play d fool for now and then carefully workout a way to manage the two families but please don't stop assisting your brother. What you don't know won't hurt right!!
ReplyDeleteYou sure overlooked the signs. She is the selfish type with the "only Me and my husband" mentality. Find someone who she respects, who can really speak the truth to her, someone like a religious leader, because I doubt if she will listen to you
ReplyDeleteReally learning from all the comments
ReplyDeleteI only have one advice RUN
ReplyDeleteSome comment rily dey baffle me sumtimes, if d wife approves it ke... He is helping his broda nt sumone else frm outside.. Dt kinda wife wil send away gud pple away frm the husband.. Abeg stand ur ground pls and correct the abnormality.. To d extent of calling the broda bak, very daring..
ReplyDeleteI comment on ds earlier... Mr Olu.. I no see ma comment ooo
ReplyDeleteI comment on ds earlier... Mr Olu.. I no see ma comment ooo
ReplyDeleteBro let her know the importance of family and never let her knows your earnings.is a secret
ReplyDelete