N.B. I have never done an abortion so please don’t think it’s because of recklessness I have damaged my womb. I have dated three guys, two of whom I told about my situation. I left the third, I couldn’t tell him because I was scared, so I acted up and gave him attitude, then he left too.
I am currently engaged to a guy a friend hooked me up with, that claims he loves me but I really doubt it. I told him about my situation and he accepted...
he made a huge proposal after I told him, and it went viral, to show to the world how he loves me.
But here is the real deal, he doesn’t show me he cares. I am abused at the slightest opportunity. Calling me names I have never been called. He cheats on me so much that it breaks my heart, currently he is sleeping with the house-help which he can’t hide anymore. He even brings some of his girls home and I just look and cry my eyes out when am alone.
He makes me feel worthless. First of all I mustn’t talk to my friends when he is around if not he gets jealous. He asked me to close up my Facebook, Instagram, BlackBerry messages, WhatsApp and delete all my contacts because he doesn’t want me talking to anyone…we don’t even go out as couple, he doesn’t take me anywhere.
I am not allowed to work anymore cos he said his wife won’t work. I had a very lucrative job back in my country and he made me quit. I really do not have much savings but I had 25,000 USD which I have given to him on loan and I doubt if he will ever pay. My family back home depends on me. I have been working my ass out to support the family but I always had a lonely and sad night… In my quest to find happiness I find myself here. Now I can’t support my family, I don’t even have a dime to my name and I’m in a strange country with no one to talk to. I am even too broke to go make my hair in the salon, I have learnt how to make my hair myself now. Same me that goes to the best salon back home, wears the best clothes and now I have been reduced to nothing.
Because I don’t have anymore money to give to him he sees me as a dull girl. That I am not smart at all... I called home last month and the last money I had was used to get me air ticket to leave here after a very big fight... But after finding out about it he begged me to stay and I did.
His way of life I can’t deal…he poses to be very rich, which I really don’t care if he is rich or broke because I know I can survive without a man’s money. But he lives in debt around that I am ashamed of moving around. We have been arrested once because he was owing someone. He lives a fake life and it breaks my heart because I’m one of the realest girls you can know. In a bid to cover up, once he gets little money he shops for clothes and wrist watches and gives people money to show off, without even paying up some debts.
He doesn’t want to go see my parents, he wants to send money home for my bride price to be done back home and we won’t attend. I have always dreamt of been a bride, I am very beautiful and I dream of how a beautiful bride I will be.
Now what should I do? I feel so ashamed to even go back home with no money attached to my name. The stigma of getting engaged and dumped? Or stay with this man that makes my life unbearable? If I leave who will ever marry me with my health issue? I hear lots of people say marriage is not always blissful, is it always like this? Should I stay and build this which I doubt will work? If I stay, how do I cope with him sleeping with househelps and everything under skirts...
Please I need a realistic way out of this mess.
- by a sister in need of help
Take it to prayer madam.
ReplyDeleteAunty u self I dnt get are u guys married or not bcos u seems to confuse me, if u guys are married like a proper way then stay in the marriage hope and pray for God intervention he will surely change that's if u guys are married bcos u said for better or worse u knw wat dat means. But if u guys are not married yet pls park ur things are go home bcos he is nt ur husband, ur real husband is waiting for the right time he will come, God is nt a wicked God remember he said I knw the plan I have for my children, good plans and not evil.... Go home and tell him wen ur real husband comes by then he should open ur womb keep praying bcos that is the solution right now.
ReplyDeletestory storyyyyy
ReplyDeleteMy advice for u is to leave him n find ur way, find a living church n start going hold on to christ n he wl show u d way, don't kill urself
ReplyDeleteMy dear, you better run for your life before your destiny will be totally truncated!
ReplyDeleteolutoscene1@gmail.com
#Olu,can you see?
Morning Mr olu.
ReplyDeleteIts too bad your eyes got opened too late.you don't leave certainty for uncertainty.you made a lot of decisions too quick,but I understand it was a quest for happiness.basically,your man is not in love with you.dating a selfish,greedy,jealous man is a no-no.so get your heart together,let it sink in your head that you have gotten more unhappy instead of happiness,and get out of that country before he knows it.There's a saying where I come from that "when you cannot continue a journey,you should be able to retrace how you got there and go back."
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with u? Is every one destinies to get married? So because u want to get married to this guy it is better for u to stop working and or families are starving? Is marriage or only priority in life? So u are prepared for a man to treat u as trash just to answer his name? In fact am very angry as am typing this haba! U can make yourself happy with or without a man, go back to your work and family, u have the four aces in your hands to be happy or miserable.
ReplyDeleteMy dear the hand writing is on the wall you just don't want to see it.if I were you I will run for my dear life, that man is not your husband you will never be happy with him,I would say that you go back home and start your life anew.good luck.
ReplyDeleteWell I'm sure that you have all the answers that your looking for cos your the only one who know what's best for you and what will make you happy. You just have to think then u can figure out what to do cos your whole life depend on it. And in my own opinion I'm not sure if he's the right man for and don't just stay there just bcos ur afraid of what people might say about you cos whatever u do people will talk so is better to do what's best for even if they will talk cos they will one day get tired of talking and he's not the only man on earth neither is he the perfect one so just pray hard and be patience and one day God will answer your prayer. Cos nothing in impossible for our God
ReplyDeleteFrom a mother to a daughter :go home, back to your family, to your family back home. Get them to get you a ticket like they did last time, then when he's not home, pack what you think is necessary ( leave his things/ property) leave that place. Don't tell him anything about u r plans. If u r story is true , then my daughter Enough is Enough. As a mother all I would want is my daughter home alive and well rather than dead. Because that is what is in the works for u. God created. He has your own husband waiting some where for you. It is definitely not this man who is treating u as minion ( less than a slave ). You deserve more than this in life. Not being able to have a child is not everything in life. There are other things. Pls do not throw ur youth away. PLS GO HOME NOW . Do not let him know u r plans .
ReplyDeleteYou are still a small girl to know what is good or bad for you so remain with him and keep hoping for who will come and advice you or wait till the day you will mature to decide what is best for you.
ReplyDeleteRun �� for ur life bcs this one don't send u , is it bcs u can't give birth forgot the shame it is ur life here, get back to work and do what ever makes u happy forget him pls life u see is all abt happiness if u can be happy with ur self I bet u will live long
ReplyDeletePray hard
ReplyDeleteLooking for help?
ReplyDelete~Olufamous blog queen~
Your story is so pathetic, but I will advice you to get out of his house fast to your people so that you can think straight and pray hard for God's direction.
ReplyDeleteHey lady all you need to do is to keep praying to God to help you out, coz human may give you wrong advices
ReplyDeleteEnter your comment...pls face your life d one God made for u will come. nenyeoma@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteGo back home asap and re-start your life so that you don't regret for ever.
ReplyDeleteI really do feel for u dear,it not ur fault that u found ur self in that condition but God knows best. Go back home to ur family,be fervent in prayers and I assure u that God will give u the best man u never expected to get.
ReplyDeleteYou better leave him before he kills you, he hasn't paid your dowry so he is not your husband my sister. God will bring some one who cares if only you put your trust in him. Park your things and move on with your life
ReplyDeleteWell, the earlier you leave him and run for your dear life the better for you. you have nothing to loose if you leave him, forget about the loan you gave to him, your life is more precious than earthly wealth, you will see millions of men that will marry you with or without your condition.
ReplyDeleteYou deserve better than this. If he truly accepted u with ur conditions then is action is bad. Sly
ReplyDeleteGod will show you the way out of this situation.
ReplyDeleteI have an idea , you need to get closer to God, if what you said is true, you need to leave the man immediately and start living single, before he ends your life for you, he may decide to use u for ritual one day o
ReplyDeleteG
ReplyDeleteNo comment. I don't know what to say.
ReplyDeleteJust put yourself together and move on with your life.....
ReplyDeletePls sister call my line 08129979832•i ll bring u d happiness u deserve ok•i m also looking 4 a devouted lady 2 settle down wt
ReplyDeleteIt's a Mere story
ReplyDeleteNevertheless, no one should Live in Bondage
If you can't be pregnant naturally, then u go for IVF. Even if your uterus can't carry a pregnancy, you get a Serogate mother. NO EXCUSE!!!
It's a Mere story
ReplyDeleteNevertheless, no one should Live in Bondage
If you can't be pregnant naturally, then u go for IVF. Even if your uterus can't carry a pregnancy, you get a Serogate mother. NO EXCUSE!!!
Am ready come ...I will marry you despite you cant bear children
ReplyDeleteWhat are you waiting for?. Leave that guy ASAP
ReplyDelete